Win an entire Ham

I’m working on becoming famous.

I read an article by Kevin Rose that said I need to have a contest for my Twitter to become famous. I have no opinions about a man with the name of a flower as his surname. I do hate roses though.

The contest will go like this. The good part is that if you win I will send you a 15lb ham in the mail. A 15lb ham can feed 26 people.

Here’s how you will win:

Whoever retweets what I say the most from today until March 12th will win the ham.

Here’s an example that I just made up. It was easy to make up. It will be easy for you to win if you do this more than anyone else:

“Called 311. Nancy answered with her sultry voice. I asked for the nearest podiatrist – @otto”

Here’s a bonus part. When you win, I will be more famous than I am now, which means you will also become more famous than you are now. I cannot send that part in the mail though.


3 responses to “Win an entire Ham

  1. @Otto

    A greeting I hope you are comfortable with.

    Why the selection of a ham as a prize?

    The reason I ask is that I feel sadly excluded from the challenge. So I gladly forego the chance of winning the ham for the greater cause of your gaining fame and notoriety.

    I am somewhat concerned that you recognise the pressures of fame – you will be constantly stalked by the press, you will have #otto threads proliferating.
    Look at the pressure put on the inimicable Stephen Fry – he cannot post a link for fear of the instant Frizzle of death to the site? Fried by Fry would be a better logo for his Tshirts.

    So Otto, with best regards from Galway Ireland. May your quest for fame be succesful!!


  2. Calli. I don’t what the rules are in Ireland about owning ham. I think maybe you are allowed to own a ham. That is my guess. I will call and ask them. If you are not allowed to own a ham I can use 15lbs of a cabbage instead.

    I put pressure on my face eveningly. More would be enjoyable.

    Thank you Ireland.


  3. Owning hams – oh don’t please. Had live hams – Gloucester Old Spots – shudder.

    Can I prefer the cabbage ??

    Although we do have 20 acres of kale…hmmm

    Intellectual dilemmas


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