I learned how to leave comments on other sites now, sites like mine. I don’t know if people read them, but I feel important when I can contribute to a conversation. It makes me feel less like I’m just a guy with a lot of cats and more like someone who should be wearing a silk shirt.
A long time ago I sent an email to Donald Trump because I thought he looked like an interesting person on television. Here’s what the email message said:
Hello Donald Trump, my name is Otto and I have and important compliment to give you.First of all, you never ever say anything bad about anyone. Me too. Even though you fire people, you still say things like “That was hard” or “The was the toughest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
Was it as tough as, say, hitting your thumb with a hammer two times in a row? Or maybe as tough as accidentally ironing your hand. Irons are very hot, and they can burn. But you do always show gratitude towards people and I bet that’s why you have a television show of your very own.
One big question I have is this. Well, first I need to preface the question with some comments so you can better understand where I’m coming from. My uncle (also named Otto) had a disease once when I was just child. He had such a bad disease that no one could go and see him. He used to be really skinny, like a bean pole, or even funnier, a stick. But after he had this disease and the city officials let him come out of his house he was enormous. He must have had a food eating disease because he was so gigantic he couldn’t get out of the house even though he had been stuck in it for so long. We needed Yugel’s pair of oxen to pull the side of his cabin down so we our village could whip him with traditional reeds and fibers pulled from the lake. This was to cleanse him.
My uncle, before he got sick, had hair that looks like yours I’m sorry to say. Wonderful hair, yes, but it looked very similar to yours, like the Golden Badgers of my youth.
I suggest you talk to your physician, and if he doesn’t prescribe you with some kind of medicine that makes you not eat a lot, you should fire him. I know, funny joke.
I got an email message back from a lady named Charles.
Dear Mr. Chogenbakner:Thank you for your concern about Mr. Trump’s hair.
As you’re probably aware, Mr. Trump receives a significant amount of email everyday, and hires people like myself to help answer questions regarding Mr. Trump.
I assure you that Mr. Trump is in perfect physical condition and that his hair is no indicator of his health.
Again, your concern for Mr. Trump is much appreciated.
Charles can go to hell. What is the point of email if you have people answering it for you. I bet she didn’t even talk to Donald Trump at all, and that she just said “this Otto person is surely crazy” and didn’t even think my story about my Uncle was true. Poor Donald. The Donald.