Anil Dash. Lover of 20/20

I haven’t had much luck with talking to people who own blogs lately. I think my emails might be too harsh. The next email will be different. I will compliment the blog writer profusely, then cut the chase and lay it on harsh. But I should point out that not all blog owners write things that upset me. I found a blog by a man named Anil (I ran circles through the house giggling when I read that name. I just kept yelling “Anil, Anil, Anil, your name is Anil!” but got over it. I knew someone named Phuc once too, and he got bored of me yelling out his name a lot.).

This Anil fellow is my kind of fellow. I say that, because in 1999, he talked about 20/20, the television show. I love 20/20 the television show, especially John Stossel and his strong commentary about where to shove it.

I wrote Anil an email message. I hope he responds.

Dear Anil Dash,My name is Otto, and I have some comments about your blog, and also I’d like to compliment you profusely whenever possible.

I was searching the Internet for a type of cream good for reducing inflammations of one sort or the other from too much mechanical bull riding or various sledding related issues (winter is coming), and found your blog, which I have to compliment you on, is simply fantastic, though I’ve only read one page.

In September of the year 1999, you mentioned that you liked 20/20 the television show. Maybe you and I are related?

I love 20/20 the television show, mainly because I know a secret! Hugh Downs and Barbara Walters have never worn any pants on the show, and enjoyed hiding the fact that instead of pants, they were wearing diapers. The desk covers it. It wasn’t until recently when Hugh Downs left the show that Barbara Walters began covering her lower half, but up until then, it was diapers on the lower halves only.

I know this. You can try to argue that I don’t, but you will fail, even though I agree that 20/20 the television show is tops. I know this because I’m an expert at reading facial expressions. I ran a business during the 80’s that specialized in this, and a large part of my abundant wealth (which I’m not ashamed of, and use to lavish my cats and go on trips) was gained by appearing as an expert witness. I’m what you might call a facial expert.

I saw John Stossel glance down at Barbara’s lower half once when he was doing a segment about gypsies that re-roofed homes with graham crackers and stole all your valuables when you weren’t in the know. With that glance, I learned the secret. I think you should write about that on your blog.

I have a question about your blog, which is complimentary, I might add. Do you ever write about fish? Even if it’s just to talk about how maybe you saw one jump in the air, or maybe ate one raw or perhaps saw one in a fish store? If so, how often, and if not, why not?

Also, I posted this email message on my website, which isn’t a blog. It’s just a website. I don’t yet accept the term blog mainly because it sounds like something my doctor would say was stuck in various pipes or hoses within my body. If you reply, I will put your email message on my website to show that you answer email. No one else does. I even emailed Jason Kottke about his problem with zipping his pants, and he hasn’t replied. I emailed Andy Biao about his hatred of humanity, and he replied. I hope you reply.

Otto Chogenbaakner.
Vote for Otto in 2008

 

I’m currently awaiting Anil’s response.

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