One handed shampoo

Last week I was so puzzled – I’d run into such a problem. I volunteer at the local animal shelter. I help do my part for this world by playing a 12 string guitar to the dogs and cats that have lost their way, or have been left for dead. But they don’t just get dogs and cats you know. Once, they had an iguana, and even more astounding and impossible, last week they had the biggest reptile to walk this earth – an elephant.

Not much was known about this elephant, but I took to it right way. I named the elephant Stu. An Asian elephant. I think he ran away from the circus, but we still don’t know. Elephants walk very quietly, and he probably just snuck off.

Anyhow, Stu liked my rendition of Peter Frampton’s “Baby I love your way” on the 12 string. I would sit on a stool in Stu’s cage and strum it, and when I sang the line that goes “Ooh baby I love your way (everyday)” he place his trunk on my head. Stu loved that.

Anyhow, enough of that, the letter explains it all that I wrote to Pantene:

Dear Pantene, My name is Otto, and I am a Pantene Pro V lover!Last week I purchased a tall bottle of Pantene Pro V with the blue letters. I was so looking forward to washing my hair the next day, until I read the instructions. And please, forgive me because I don’t have the bottle in front of me, but maybe you might. It said “Dispense product, then rub hands together”. But you see, that made me shed such an awful tear.

I have a friend named Stu, he’s an Asian Elephant, probably from the next city over. He snuck away, and we caught him in our shelter. Stu and I would have dance parties, and it usually involved an unhealthy amount of beer. But Stu is so big, he can drink a lot of beer.

One of our parties got out of hand, literally. I was playing Peter Frampton’s “Baby I love your ways” song on my 12 string guitar, his favorite, and on the line that goes “Ooh baby I love your way” I slipped, and said “Ooh baby I wuv your lays”. I mixed the letters! Stu went into a rampage. He knocked over the keg, frowned, and stomped all about like a two year old. Stu kicked me right in the chord hand, and it swelled to the size of a pomegranet. Can you blame Stu though?

So you see, when I read the “rub hands together” part, I was so distraught. My left hand was taped to my side, to prevent me from chewing it, and I couldn’t use it. I need some ideas on how to use your product with only one hand. Can you help?

The doctor gave me a catalog of things for one handers. Maybe you could make a new Pantene product and sell it there? I don’t know. What do you think? I really need to wash my hair.



A week later, I got this reply:

Response (Casey) – 10/24/2003 04:34 PM Hi, Otto.
Wow, you have to be careful of those elephants sometimes! I’m letting the rest of our Pantene Team know you need a one-handed shampoo though.

While we don’t have a one-handed shampoo at this time, I think I may be able to help you out. Instead of rubbing your hands together as it says on the instructions, you can try one of the following:

-put the shampoo into your one hand, and put that directly on your hair to work up a lather (Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you didn’t use two hands!).
-put the shampoo into the palm of your hand, and rub your hand and foot together (Be careful not to slip though!)
-wash your hair in a one-handed shower.

I hope you’ll find these suggestions helpful. If you don’t have a one-handed shower, maybe you can even get one from your catalog. One bit of advice though, next time try not to let Stu have too much beer!


Pantene Team


Good ideas! Thanks!


2 responses to “One handed shampoo

  1. Pingback: Who am I? « My name is Otto

  2. Pingback: Pantene Pro Dung and Pantene Pro Dung Beetles « MY NAME IS OTTO. ɹǝuʞɐɐquǝƃoɥɔ oʇʇo

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