Shame on Olive Garden

I can’t believe this. Olive Garden declined what I thought was a very valid request. I’m distraught.

Dear Olive Garden,My name is Otto, and I have a serious question! I have a certain attatchment to a potted tree that I’ve raised since I was a child. His name is Benjamin. It’s a clever name – Benjamin is a Benjamin Ficus tree.

Every night I sit next to Benjamin and eat three things: Lentils, Orange Bang, and Chocolate pudding. This has been my routine now for years, and as you might imagine, Benjamin makes good company. But the Chocolate pudding is getting old – there is such thing as too much chocolate!

I’d like to try Olive Garden. The commercials on TV suggest that it’s a family place. I have no family. Can I bring Benjamin?

I’ll describe him: he’s an older tree now, eight feet tall. About halfway up his trunk there is a 90 degree bend. A perfect elbow. This happened because of a tornadoe! I have a cart to roll him in.

Will this be a problem? Also, I have extreme body odor – will this be a problem?

Thanks! Love your commercials!

 

I really do love my tree. Here’s what Olive Garden said:

Dear Otto:We are pleased to know you saw our advertisement and we appreciate your interest in visiting our restaurants.

Regarding our standards, we require that our guests be humans, wear shoes and shirts. Any offensive odors that would interfere with the other patron’s enjoyment are not permitted. These policies are in place for the comfort of all our guests, as well as health and safety codes. As a casual dining establishment we do not have any other required or suggested rules as long as it meets acceptable community standards. We will, however, document your comments for future reference.

May we suggest you try our ToGo service. For your convenience you will find our menu selections on our website at http://www.olivegarden.com.

Again, thank you for sharing your comments.

Ann
Olive Garden Guest Relations

 

What is this world coming to? My odor is not allowed at Olive Garden! I think maybe I will accept her suggestion though and go eat at ToGo’s. They have the biggest submarine sandwhiches, and I can ask them for Tuna Avacado. Yum! I read this reply from Ann to Benjamin and he became so utterly depressed. I think he liked the idea more than I did. The world is getting to be a crazy place.

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