My computer was broken and I couldn’t do anything about it. Your computer must be working. I have a cat named Franco now (a new one) and he is still getting used to the rules. He’s not working out that well. He took one look at my fancy book style computer and, well, this isn’t pleasant, vomited on the keys. I was so disgusted that I threw the contents of my drink (Scotch) at Franco, but he moved, and the Scotch soaked my computer, which then caught fire. I put the fire out with a damp bath towel, and by beating the fire out of the computer. When I tried to turn it back on, it caught fire again, so I had no choice but to get off the toilet where I was and put the computer in the toilet to stop the flames.
But now I have a new computer, and I’m in the heartland of America, which means I’ve been seeing a lot of corn. These are my people, except no one likes Elton John like I do. I’m going to dinner at a place called Beef Palace tonight, but I’m going to play a serious joke on the wait-staff. When they ask what I’d like to eat, I’m going to say “A spinach salad please, hold the basil, hold the cilantro, please add extra egg yolks, crumbled, a sprig of mint on the side, cranberry garnish, and put all the spinach leaves facing up, with no moisture please”. The joke is that it’s Beef Palace.